Ok, you know what I said before? About New Years resolutions? And how pointless they are because they always get broken? Well, I am SO there right now. I am almost through Week 1 of BarBri + work. I’d like to say that I’m taking things in stride, trying to be chipper, and embracing the next two months of bone-crushing hard work. But I’m not. I am beat. Eroded. Defeated. Unhappy.
I suspect that this is largely tied to some minor setbacks at work….or at least things that have happened that I could either a) choose to ignore and not over-analyze or b) read too much into the situation and thus question my reason for giving up my life in Seattle to move somewhere new and start all over again. Given that my defenses are down, I’m currently leaning towards the latter all the while knowing that I either a) am majorly over-reacting or b) will be able to redeem myself if I stop feeling so sorry for myself.
Truth be told, winter (even the ordinary kind), is really hard on me. It’s part of what made those three years in MN so bleak and why I had some serious misgivings about moving to Chicago. I know it sounds sorta wussy to be so overcome by the weather but something about the blistering cold and icy winds here really compound my feelings of doubt, fear, and isolation. I feel like I need to join a support group or something.
Sorry guys….2009 has not quite gotten the start that I’d hoped for. I know I’ll get through this somehow but I felt like I had shout into the void of the internets and get some of this angst off my chest. It’s made me feel a tiny bit better.