What a difference 48 hours can make. Last week: heart-warming, exhilarating, a blast. This week: disappointment, skull-crushing loneliness, and some completely unexpected (and potentially expensive) setbacks. Talk about a kick in the teeth. Not much more to say, other than I’ve cried my eyes out, am hoping for the best but anxious. I confess that part of this anxiety, while certainly driven by some external factors out of my control, is probably also related to the upcoming Thanksgiving holidays. I now totally get why there’s an uptick of suicides around the holidays. Not having anywhere to go or anyone to see is pretty f’n depressing. This is not to say that I haven’t gotten any invites, but most would involve taking some time off of work (something I can’t afford right now) and/or a significant drive. I just don’t have that in me right now. And as sad as I am about not doing anything to mark (what used to be) my favorite holiday, I’m feeling increasingly grateful that I’ll just have a few quiet days off of work (hopefully) to sleep, to craft, and to mentally reconnect. I really need that.
In the meantime, I will attempt to knit myself back to sanity. As you can see from this picture, my honeycomb vest is almost done. I should be able to seam it this weekend and finish the arm and neck edging. I’m pretty excited about this since I haven’t finished a knit garment in years. And I’ve already started casting on for another project: a Christmas present for my dad. I also have a dress that just needs a collar and a hem. Wow. Thinking about finishing some big creative projects already has me feeling a little bit better.